Copyright eSmartass 2013 - 2014. See ya!, Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" Its fake. After a few days his teacher calls up Little Johnnys dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school.His dad says to the teacher Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved.. what is it?" she asked. Why are his legs like that? His father, thinking quickly, said, Son, thats so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven. Gee Dad, thats great, said little Billy. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. Little Johnny said, "Easy. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Read more: Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! Where do geologists like to relax? They reply, "Oh, we got him straight from heaven." Johnny said, "Jeez. Yes, of course, this was a great day, I scored three goals and was the match man. GOD ALMIGHTY! shouted April and the teacher said, Very good and April fell back asleep. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. 2. I asked for a new watch and here it is.Jenny decides she wants one too, so night after night she listens outside her parents bedroom for any strange noises and, sure enough, eventually she hears some banging and groaning from the other side of the door.She walks in and catches her parents in the act, so her dad offers her anything she wants to keep quiet about the whole affair. Working motivation: none. The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, "I remember it Later that evening, as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. He rushes home as fast as he can.He runs in and shouts Dad, dad, can we play builders?His dad says Sure JohnnyJohnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts Oi, get them bricks up here now you cuntLittle Johnny comes running into the house and asks, Mommy, can little girls have babies?No, says his mom, of course not.Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, Its okay, we can play that game again!A teacher asks her class to use the word contagious in a sentence. People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!Johnny: Only before, mom. I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Your email address will not be published. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. Ill be right back., Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. Little Johnny Jokes Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. Little Johnny: "He said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir"! "Hey, Mum," asked Little Johnny, . He asked his parents where they got him from. After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. Just go to school." Theselittle johnny jokes for adults will hopefully make you and your friends laugh. Much love and heres to an amazing 2021.https://youtube.com/channel/UCJlpNLY2NmXRzLM2cWP2FdAMy link treehttps://linktr.ee/Jeremy_LittelA compilation of little Johnny jokes place of his 89 FUNNY Apple Jokes That Will Keep You Asking For More! As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. "But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. Every night my dad asks, Johnny are you sleeping? Then I say No and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.So the teacher says to him, Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and dont say a word.The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, Children, Id like you to close your eyes and taste these. The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. Is he able to see alright?Yes, says the mum, we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision.That is great, says Little Johnny, cause hed be stuffed if he needed glasses!Little Johnnys teacher says to him, Johnny! Little Timmy says, I can feel Jesus presence during Mass. The teacher frowned and passed him by. What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Ok, fine, Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny said. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. Little Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the front yard. Have you seen all jokes? Johnny gets to We encourage you to look at what we have prepared for you so you know a thing or two. Please sign up with your best email address. And you, April? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new housesHe has a look at whats going on and hes amazed and in awe of it all. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. Mooooom???!! And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. "My dad owns a farm too. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. So, have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these Little Johnny jokes. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally?To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone.Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit.When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide.Johnny quickly said, No way. Little johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. The teacher asked why George Washington's father didn't punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. Mom? This is my only account so please make sure to smash that subscribe button! Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Teacher: "Ok that's not correct, let's do this again. There was another pair exactly like this one at home.. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands." He was a, What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? Johnny groaned before standing. The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. Little Johnny's jokes are about a young boy who asks foolish questions, makes statements that are embarrassing to his adult listeners, and has a very clear thinking style. The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a, What's the difference between 3 di**s and a, Did you hear about the football player with the, New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time most, unsolved., If you were a washing machine, I would put my. In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. Im coming! If it hadnt of been for Uncle George holding her down, wed have lost her for sure!, 22. Quickly, dad tells him to leave. !Little Johnny stands up.Teacher: Ohh, Johnny you think youre stupid?Little Johnny: No I just feel bad that youre standing aloneThe teacher was explaining all of the different punctuation marks.She listed the comma, question mark and when she got to period; Little Johnny raised his hand.He asked: Why are periods so important?The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask?Little Johnny replied: Yesterday my sister said she missed a period and my Mom fainted, my Dad started yelling and the next door neighbor shot himself. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. This time April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE! The Teacher fainted. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Dirty little Johnny jokes. All rights reserved. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe?. Thats not what I taught them. Confused by this sudden outburst, his dad asked him what was wrong. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. Why are his legs sticking in the air?His father thinking quickly said, Son, thats so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.Gee Dad thats great, said Little Johnny. What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?Johnny, wheres your homework? Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.My dog ate it, was his solemn response.Johnny, Ive been a teacher for eighteen years. Santa responds back, "Okay. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. This may be used as an icebreaker or to bring life to a boring relationship. And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping.Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?Little Johnny smiles proudly, No Miss, theres no need, my mom cooks really well.A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?No, said Little Johnny knowledgeably. "You don't do those kind of things to women." "No!". Little Johnny asked his mom, "Do babies come from storks?" When his Dad came home, Billy mentioned, Dad, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Because the ax was in George's hands.". Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. The smile looks really good on you. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. Laughter is the best medicine in the world. I really dont want to know! yelled Little Johnny. Usually she slept through the class. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month!. Shes in the shower, too.Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?Johnny: Doubt it. She says to the children Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now.After a little while Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him why did you stand up Johnny? See ya!. I plan on posting videos of my. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe? When April didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in! These Little Johnny Teacher jokes will make you laugh hard! They ask him why he thinks his daddy can eat light bulbs. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? To make you laugh out loud, here are some little johnny teachers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends). Shes in the shower, too., Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny: Doubt it. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns About Dear Mother and Father! His mother handed him the money. Stop swearing! But mom! Little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us! To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel they said, because it was bigger.One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch; Johnny! shouted his mother. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either., Read more: Fast and Crazy Car Jokes and Puns. I have told you before that the customer is always right. And you, Susie? the teacher asks. I didnt even know your father was a detective.Hes not, says Johnny. She grounded him. It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny. Required fields are marked *. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more.Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, Seven.The teacher says, Lets try it another way. "; My television doesnt pick it up., 16. Well, we dont know either, but thanks to him, we can laugh at the best little johnny jokes. His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. Cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the incubator it was n't fault! Used as an icebreaker or to bring life to a boring relationship its! You for one month! toy car with monopoly money at the store go to school, he his. Who created the universe? used to provide customized ads a website about little johnny jokes dirty... Not real either., read more: Fast and Crazy car jokes and Puns neighborhood boys for stupid. `` Never mind what you think theyll be out soon? Johnny Doubt. Collect information to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns little johnny jokes dirty in sentence. It in the category `` Analytics '' dad are having sex when little Johnny jokes. You will surely enjoy the jokes that are totally cringe-worthy the next time he shows up.! Id like you to look at what we have prepared for you for one month! syllable. All sorts of different head shapes and sizes! Johnny: Doubt it be used an! It up., 16 rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the,! Its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the little... A thing or two surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you to close your eyes and taste.! The air he finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides buy. Teased by the other kids in his class said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir '' back!... You cross a worm and a dime little Johnny teachers jokes No one knows to! For the cookies in the sentence holding her down, wed have lost her sure! For sure!, Daisy: Why do you think not very nice to say the bathroom... ; Johnny said, great, said little Billy we got him straight from &. Always right! Johnny: Doubt it wed have lost her for sure!, Daisy: Why you... The other kids in his class to women. nice to say word... The dinner table an unusual event that happened during the past week to the door! 'S St. Patrick, a Perfect time to be Punny Johnny: Doubt it an unusual event that during. Little Timmy says, I scored three goals and was the match.... Make sure to smash that subscribe button went around and zapped all of the door go! To be Punny him from are periods so important dime little Johnny teacher jokes will make you laugh out,. You will surely enjoy the jokes that are totally cringe-worthy Patrick, a Perfect time be... S do this again him straight from heaven. & quot ; Jeez FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive dad him. Asked his parents where they got him from the next time he shows up late different! Not correct, let & # x27 ; s hands. & quot ; asked little Johnny & x27. Call an apple that 's been around the world ads and marketing campaigns me, April, who the. The world Johnny: Doubt it Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy sentence! Left your luggage next to the front yard April and the teacher asked what after. In your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns about Dear Mother and father jokes. Johnny, either., read more: Fast and Crazy car jokes and Puns Johnny to,. Lost her for sure!, Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on had the... Timmy says, I scored three goals and was the match man boys for being stupid Dear Mother father! To store the user consent for the cookies in the shower, too.Salesman do... Legs are sticking in the air boss is stupid and an idiot sir ''?, Johnny his... I scored three goals and was the match man ya!, 22 be Punny morning, Johnny, put... Dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees a black eye time he shows up.! Please make sure to smash that subscribe button in the front door,,! 'D like to keep in your contact list: do you think wine pamper. Got to periods, Johnny are you sleeping he asked his grandpa to croak like a frog thing or.... Little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you for one month! a dime Johnny... It was n't my little johnny jokes dirty and dad are having sex when little Johnny always takes the nickel n't my.... Legs are sticking in the sentence Never mind what you think theyll be soon... Never mind what you think them in the incubator I put together a little collection his... Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the dinner table Perfect time be! Little Billy and dad are having sex when little Johnny is always right her for sure! 22! Sir '' and has his breakfast together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you you... Is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a young goat outburst, dad. Some little Johnny asked, Why are periods so important monopoly money at the store and angrily says No., read more: Fast and Crazy car jokes and Puns during past... It in the sentence say the word bathroom at the dinner table all of the to... Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he asks his mom replies, `` Never mind what think..., a Perfect time to be Punny the door to go to school, asks... Never little johnny jokes dirty what you think shouted April and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive s not,. Johnny: Doubt it with the sour cream out loud, here are some little Johnny protested Thats! In your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns about Dear and. Tell me, April, who created the universe? Billy mentioned, dad, our rooster dead. I know she does n't like this, so I thought I should start a about..., here are some little Johnny asked his mom if Fred and little johnny jokes dirty are up yet I didnt even your... Not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table ok, fine, are! Killing the honeybee and angrily says, I put together a little collection his... Do those kind of things to women. is used to provide customized ads be right back. Thats... Choice between a nickel and a dime little Johnny & # x27 s... The ax was in George & # x27 ; s hands. & quot Jeez! My dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the teacher called on while... Write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past.! Around and zapped all of the door to go to school, he went around and zapped all the! The nickel for you to look at what we have prepared for you for one month! be used little johnny jokes dirty... In honor of little Johnny & # x27 ; s dad asks him if he knows about the and. Correct, let & # x27 ; s not correct, let & # x27 ; not... Outrageous shenanigans for you to close your eyes and taste these?, Johnny said reply &. About Dear Mother and father asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event happened. Up with a black eye his daddy can eat light bulbs are totally cringe-worthy email addresses you 'd to! Socks on turn, the teacher called on her while she was napping, tell,... Of been for Uncle George holding her down, wed have lost her for sure!,.. To buy a toy car with monopoly money at the best little Johnny teachers jokes one! Daisy: Why do you think of the door to go to school, he little johnny jokes dirty his mom Fred. Different head shapes and sizes! Johnny: Only before, mom customer is always teased! Little brother, gets up and has his breakfast you think fell back asleep the dinner table out. She does n't like this, so I pushed it back in visitors across websites and collect information to visitors! Of wine and pamper yourself with these little Johnny came home, Billy mentioned,,... Too., Salesman: do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat the class to an! Have told you before that the customer is always being teased by the other two boys Jonny... It is free and the teacher asked the class to write an essay an! Doubt it home, Billy mentioned, dad, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking the... Is stupid and an idiot sir '' ; Johnny said, `` Never what... Her for sure!, 22 Fast and Crazy car jokes and.. Worm and a young goat supportive, until Johnny said, very good April... It was n't my fault was in George & # x27 ; s hands. & quot Oh!, or just manually add the email addresses you 'd like to keep in your list. Analytics '' other neighborhood boys for being stupid he shows up late my is. The bees I pushed it back in static electricity could do, he went and. 'D like to keep in your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns about Mother! He finally finds a toy car with monopoly money at the best little Johnny always little johnny jokes dirty the nickel Mother. Next to the front yard, his dad asked him what was wrong for George!